Ha Ha

"A woman shopping at Adsa takes a fancy to the young lad who is filling her shopping bags, and she thinks to herself "what a nice bum and lovely blue eyes, what I couldn't do to him".

She stands waiting, feeling very horny and, after paying, she says, "excuse me, but is there any chance of you helping me to carry my shopping to the car?",
"Certainly Madam, no problem at all".

So off they set over the car park, walking behind him makes her even randier and she blurts out, "I've got a delicious itchy fanny", he replies, "You'd better point it out then Madam, all them Japanese cars look the same to me"."

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A bloke is in a queue at the supermarket when he notices that the rather dishy blonde behind him has just raised her hand and smiled hello to him. 

He is rather taken aback that such a looker would be waving to him, and although familiar he can't place where he might know her from, so he says "sorry do you know me?"

She replies "I maybe mistaken, but I thought you might be the father of one of my children!"

His mind shoots back to the one and only time he has been unfaithful, he says "are you that stripogram on my stag night that I shagged on the snooker table in front of all my mates whilst your mate whipped me with some wet celery and stuck a cucumber up my rear?"

"No", she replies, "I'm your son's English Teacher".